映画|アンデッド・ウェディング 半ゾンビ人間とそのフィアンセ|A Little Bit Zombie

どっかの山。

マックス（スティーヴン・マクハティ）と、ペニー（エミリー・ウラアップ）は、経験豊富なゾンビハンターのコンビである。

彼らは『オーブ』と呼ばれる不思議な玉を所有しており、それを使うとゾンビを簡単に見つけられる。ずいぶん古いものらしい。彼らはオーブに導かれるまま、西に東に旅をする。春夏秋冬24時間営業で、ゾンビを殺しまくっているのです。

本日は森に生息するゾンビたちを盛大にブッ殺した。さすがに手馴れた仕事ぶりである。コンビは死体の山に満足し「ヨッシャ、撤収！」と引き上げたのであるが、このとき一匹の蚊がゾンビを吸血し、フワーと逃げていったなんて、知るよしもないのであった。

ところ変わって、4名のおきらく男女が登場。

スティーヴ（クリストファー・ターナー）と、ティナ（クリスタル・ロウ）は結婚間近の熱々カップル。ふたりに加え、スティーヴ姉（妹？）（クリステン・ヘイガー）、その旦那（ショーン・ロバーツ）というメンツである。

彼らは長距離ドライブをして、山の別荘にやってきた。この旅行はお遊び親睦会であると同時に、結婚式の打ち合わせをみんなでやろうという目的の旅でもある。一見すると仲のよさげなファミリーだが、じつはひとつ問題があり、新ヨメのティナとスティーヴ姉の仲がものすごく悪い。

というのも、このヨメは極端な完璧主義者であり、なんでもかんでも予定通りにやらないと気が済まないのである。常に予定ノートを持ち歩き、きちっと行動したがる。家事の分担となれば「掃除は〇〇さん、めしをつくるのは〇〇さん」と班長のように指図をする。本人は『いいヨメ』を目指してがんばっているつもりなんだが、ちょっとやりすぎ。スティーヴ姉はこんなヨメがだいきらい。

これから家族になる女同士がいがみ合っているというのは深刻であるが、意外にも、スティーヴさんは楽観的なようす。彼がのんきでいられるのは、その仕事の専門性ゆえであろう。

彼の仕事はWorkplace Conflict Resolutionというものであり、日本語でなんというのか私は知らないが、会社内における人間関係のゴタゴタを修復調整するというようなことを業務として毎日やっているのである。つまり、対人トラブルの専門カウンセラー。みためもそんなかんじの温厚な人柄。悪くいえばpussy男なんだが。

やがて別荘に到着。さっそく女同士がギャーギャーやり始める。スティーヴさんは「ほいきた、ぼくの出番ですよ」てな調子で出てきて、へんなゲームをやろうと提案する。またまたギャーギャー騒いで、楽しいギャグがポンポン炸裂しつつ、一匹の蚊がポワーンと寄ってきて、スティーヴをチュー。

彼はゾンビになってしまう。ウサギの脳ミソを食ってみんなをびっくりさせる。この異常事態に際し、他の3名はスティーヴのため、脳ミソ集めにかけずり回る。最初のうちは動物の脳ミソでよかったが、しまいにソレじゃ満足できなくなる。新鮮な人間の脳ミソじゃないとだめみたい。それでもあきらめず、彼の飢餓を満たしてやろうと大騒ぎする。

あれれ。

ふと気がつくと、あれだけ仲の悪かった女同士が手を組み、目的を遂げようとしているではないか。ヨメは愛する男のため。姉は愛する弟のため。その姿はまるで実の姉妹である。なんという美しい物語であるか。怪我の功名。悲劇がもたらした意外な顛末に、ゾンビ化してしまったスティーヴさんも大喜びである。しかしながら、この先、ずっとゾンビじゃ困るよね。どうするんですかね。

彼らがうだうだやってるところに、先のゾンビハンターコンビがゾンビの匂いを嗅ぎつけてやってくる。

このコンビってのが、またおもしろいんですよ。スティーヴン・マクハティ演じるオッサン、マックスはゾンビをブッ殺すのが生き甲斐の暴力男。おそろしく短気。その名の通り、すぐにMAXになっちゃう。彼の前世はショットガンだったんじゃないですかね。お気に入りのキメ台詞↓

Max: The only good zombie is a dead zombie!

こんな男の相方がエミリー・ウラアップ演じるペニーさん。彼女は短気男の横暴に神経をすり減らしているのであるが、もう我慢がならぬというときには「それだけはいっちゃいけないとおもいますわ。そ、そこはいけない。もう限界ですわ」とわめいたりするので、けっこうおもしろいのである。

さて、スティーヴさんはゾンビだからハンターに狙われてしまうわけだが、彼はまだ人間の心を失っていないのです。こういう場合、どうするんですかね。そもそもの話、どうして彼は普通のゾンビみたいにガオーとならないのでしょうか。

トレイラー動画

A Little Bit Zombie (2012) trailer

感想

INCREDIBLY SUPER FUNNY!!!!! I LOVE THIS!!!!!

この映画は「最初から最後まで大笑いのゾンビコメディ映画」と各所で評判ですが、噂通りの楽しさでした。この監督さんはお笑いに命を賭けている。

私、冒頭のスティーヴン・マクハティの台詞「Old School.」にずがーんとヤラレちまって、こりゃいいわ、と食いつきました。その先もどんどんずんずんおもしろかったです。

リズム感がいい。あ、このひとはおもしろいなあ、と食いついたところで、ギャグがポーンとくる。わっはっはーと笑ってるうちに、もう次のネタに入っている。またくるな！きたきた！ドッカーン！わー、おもしろい！うへー！またきた！わー！そうくるか！こんな連続的リズム感がいいのです。編集がうまいのか、音楽がいいのか、技術的なことは私にはわかりませんが、卓越したワザが感じられる。

かなりオススメですが、ゴアなアクションを期待するとハズします。最初に少しあるだけ。お笑いゾンビ映画つっても『ショーン・オブ・ザ・デッド』などとは路線がちがうので、アレ系は期待せずに。台詞と演技で笑わすコメディです。そういうのが好きなひと向け。エンドロールとその先に小ネタがあるから忘れずに見ましょう。

クリステン・ヘイガーさんは『CSI:マイアミ』や『Being Human』（UK版じゃなくてSyfyの方）に出ているからファンが多いと思いますが、この映画の彼女もいいですよ。

おもしろかった台詞を下に書いたので、既にご覧になった方は場面を思い出してニタニタしてください。

DVDのオマケ

この映画のDVDはUSもUKも未だ出てませんが、カナダ版が出てます。オマケいろいろあるよ。楽しいよ↓

• Commentary With Actors Kristopher Turner, Shawn Roberts And Director Casey Walker
• Meet The Cast
• Blooper Reel
• Photo Gallery
• Trailers

カナダ版DVDは低予算ホラーには珍しく英語字幕つきでした。聞き取り苦手なひともオッケー↓

• amazon.ca - A Little Bit Zombie [DVD]

Memorable Quotes

Max: Old school.

Tina: Cause I scheduled it in the itinerary!!!

Tina: Your sister snores like a man.
Steve: I know. It's cute.
Tina: I never thought my matron of honor would snore louder than my husband.

Sarah: Gross, Steve. Those things eat their own shit.
Craig: What are you talking about? Germans?
Sarah: Tina's rodent.
Tina: Sarah, would you like to hold him?
Sarah: No.
Craig: I would, give me this little shit eater. Would you look at us?
Steve: One big happy family on vacation!
Craig: Yeah, it's gonna be great.
Tina: Yep.

Sarah: I spy with my little eye, something that is.... fluffy.
Tina: You're talking about the rabbit!
Steve: I am talking about the rabbit! You got it on the first go!
Tina: This is why we're together!
Steve: You're good!

Craig: Bitches are crazy. Even when they like each other, they hate each other!
Steve: Maybe they really like each other?
Craig: No those bitches really hate each other.

Steve: Craig. We're family. I need you on board this weekend. You're my best man!
Craig: You're so sexy right now.
Steve: Craig. I'm being serious.
Craig: And our balls are kind of touching. It's okay, we're family!

Sara: Steve, is this a team building exercies?
Steve: It's a team building game.
Tina: So what is this like a party game?
Steve: It's kinda like a party game!
Sarah: It's kinda like retarded!

Sara: What? Did my matronly under arm fat get in your work?
Tina: No, Sarah, don't be so dramatic.

Sara: Nobody wants fresh air but you, Steve!

Tina: A foot massage!

Tina: You have cold feet!
Steve: What? No, no, no, no, no! I don't! I'm stressed about everybody getting along.
Tina: No, Steve. Your feet are like icicles.

Max: Should we investigate the area, fat zombie? Tactical Bacon, now!

Steve: Hey, Graig, want to go for a run?
Craig: I would pal, but the weather forecast says there could BE RAIN!

Tina: Would anyone like a smoothie?
Sarah: I would. Oh no! BRAIN FREEZE!

Craig: Vacation itinerary. Yaaay!!!!!

Craig: What's the matter?
Steve: Sorry. I can't find my pulse.
Craig: You should be looking for your balls.

Craig: Men, we're all wired to be alpha dogs. Even pussy ones, like you, who want to be Bill fucking Cosby, alright? And women, they dig alpha dogs. Even strong-willed bitches like ours. You want to be happy? Grow some nads. Don't care about people's feelings or expectations, take what you wnat, man.
Steve: Take what you want... God! that's gross, man!
Craig: Come on! You know what that was?
Steve: Chimichanga?
Craig: No, that was a selfish, thoughtless urge. And I haven't heard you or smelled you fart in like three years. And you know why? Cause you're not allowed to. Heh... brutal. Do me a favor. Don't tell Sarah I was smoking. How do I smell?
Steve: You smell like ass. And Mexican food! Christ! Eat a salad.
Craig: Jealous.

Craig: I know the itinerary says I'm supposed to clean up. But...

Steve: I don't know what's happening to me!
Sarah: You're marrying a fucking bitch?

Steve: I'm not like you, Sarah. I'm not...
Sarah: A bitch?
Steve: No. I'm not... super strongly opinionated. All I want is to be content. Satisfied. Not struggling or hungry for anything.
Sarah: Well then you're already dead. Don't you want more to live for?
Steve: I'm happy with the way things are. Please, just be nice.
Sarah: Fine. If that's what you want.
Steve: It is. Thank you.
Sarah: Are you feeling any better?
Steve: I'm still really hungry, actually.
Sarah: Well, I wouldn't recommend the quiche. It was made by a fucking gutter cunt.
Steve: Whoa!
Sarah: Sorry, I'm just getting my fill while I can. Don't tell Craig I was smoking, okay?

Penny: This flickering could indicate a hybrid.
Max: Hybrid? What? You mean like a fucking hippy car?
Penny: No, Max, like a... fucking resistant host.
Max: Oh, Christ, reminds me of my ex-girlfriend.

Steve: Have fun!
Tina: We won't!

Max: The only good zombie is a dead zombie!

Sarah: What were you doing on a website called A-holes.com, Craig?
Craig: You wanted to experiment, never mind that. Alright now, seriously, you guys are fucking hilarious! And you dude, you've got some real talent, alright. "The only good zombie is a dead zombie!" So fucking cheese, that was awesome man! Ew, gross! What the fuck!?
Max: What the fuck? You're the fuck!

Steve: Dammit! I want brains! Oh... God! I'm a zombie! I'm a goddamn zombie! Tina is going to kill me.

Steve: Alright you little bastards. The food chain ends here.

Tina: You think that you're a... zombie?
Steve: A little bit.
Sarah: Tina, this is ridiculous! Look at the pressure that you're putting on him for this stupid wedding.
Tina: What!? My rabbit just died!
Sarah: God... it was a glorified rat.

Tina: My fiancee doesn't eat brains.

Tina: I didn't realize meat was a medium for expressing creativity.

Steve: Whoa. This place looks like a Civil War field hospital or something.

Sarah: Guys, look. Skunk meat!
meat store guy: Fresh skunk meat!

meat shop guy: Hot dog! I'm a brain man, myself! Waah Hooo! This is your lucky day, muchacho! I don't get as much call for brains, on account of the cholesterol. But I tell you, I'll take me a mass of pan-fried calves brains over a rack of ribs, 10 out of 10!

meat shop guy: This is genuine, grade A, All-American grizzly bear brain. It is to die for!
Steve: It's beautiful.

Penny: Listen! Between the crazy glue and the painkillers for your foot, we have gone way over budget! Okay? So now, we're roughing it. Don't even!
Max: Fine. I like it rough.
Penny: Then, don't moisturize your hand.
Max: Okay, but you have to spit on it.
Penny: I will glue that hand to your face. Remove your hand. Kindly remove your hand, right now.
Max: Give me a little.
Penny: That's real mature, Max. You have pushed me to my limit.

Craig: Tina, he's not superhero. He's undead! And I think he's getting worse.
Sarah: How could this get worse?
Craig: Look. Right here it says "the undead host must consume living human cerebral tissue. Any dead or non-human tissue will eventually be rejected."
Tina: Wh-wh-what are you talking about?
Craig: Animal brains are like junk food. It's like he's yanking up zobie mini donuts.
Sarah: Why didn't you tell us about this before?
Craig: What?! I hadn't gotten that far. Look at how thick this bitch is.
Tina: No, my Steve is going to be okay... gonna be okay, just in time for the wedding.
Sarah: Tina, if this keeps up, by next week we'll be at his funeral.

Steve: I feel like Frankenstein! Thank you for being so sweet.
Tina: Honey, I'm not giving up on you because of some eating disorder or missing ear. This wouldn't even turn a head at my family dinner table.
Steve: I love you, baby.
Tina: Okay, now, stay straight, you don't want to have crooked ears. Cause my man has perfect ears.
Sarah: As long as he looks fine for your fucking wedding!

Craig: So... a zombie dick?
Steve: Yeah, it's pretty bad.

Sarah: So you punched me in the tit? What are you, twelve?

Sarah: I'm sick of you and your little miss perfect bullshit!

Tina: Emo slut!
Sarah: Plastic whore!

Craig: So if, ah, things don't work out Tina, and decided to marry a gay zombie... I do support your decision. But I won't be at the reception, because I don't eat cock or brains.
Steve: Yeah, you're hilarious there.
Craig: Yeah, so I RSVP "no" to gay zombie wedding! So long, Muffins.

Tina: That big scary guy... is a dead man.

Sarah: You have a pink stun gun?
Tina: Yeah! It's cute, right?

Penny: If the infected one hasn't eaten the others yet it must mean he is resisting the infection. Which is wonderful! Shit!

Craig: Fucking freak family!

Tina: Okay, we softened him up for you.
Steve: That guy is huge!
Tina: I know honey but he's out cold. Are you readly?
Steve: Oh, this is crazy. You girls just kidnapped a guy.
Sarah: And now you're gonna eat him!
Tina: Okay. Listen to me. This is very important. This is our new lifestyle, okay? And if we're going to walk down the aisle together, we both just need to embrace this.
Sarah: Okay, alright. He's all tied up and he's still out of it. I wouldn't wait too long.
Steve: Alright. I'm gonna go downstairs and eat this guy.
Tina: Okay.
Sarah: Okay.
Steve: Thank you! You both have been so incredible. I'm so happy to see the two of you working together so well.
Sarah: Okay.
Steve: You know, I think if this weekend has taught us anything it's really...
Tina: Steve, just go! Love you!

Max: I can smell his undead ass.

Max: You're fucking right he'll be in good hands. Who the fuck is this?
Craig: Who the fuck is this?!
Max: Hey, calm the fuck down pal!
Craig: I don't want to calm the fuck down. Fuck you fucker! You calm thhe fuck down.
Max: You fucking relax!
Craig: No, you go fuck yourself and get fuck over here, you fucker!
Max: No, you fuck yourself, you fuck!
Craig: Fuck you.
Max: Fuck! FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!
Penny: Those things practically have feelings.
Max: FNot anymore.

Tina: Thank you so much for coming, I don't know what we would have done without you.
Max: Well, luckily Little Miss Braveheart over here, she had the good sense to give us call when she did. Way to go, pumpkin. Now you can sew a big, fat courage badge on your Girl Scout sash. Great big badge in the shape of a lion, giving you two thumbs up. How about that, huh? Cause you're such a mature young woman. You may even get asked to the junior prom where you can get fingered in the cafetorium, right next to...
Craig: You know what, fuck you, asshole! The was my best friend!

Max: Suck it up, brain junkie, cause you ain't getting a lolly after this one.

Max: I just want you to know... of all the zombies I've encountered, you're... the most human.

Penny: Shit! I was aiming for his leg.

Craig: You are fucking moron!
Sarah: Ew.......

Tina: I love you.
Steve: I love brains!

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