映画|モーガン・ブラザーズ|100 Bloody Acres

ここはオーストラリアのYandoitていうド田舎。

年の頃は30代後半の田舎オヤジ（デイモン・ヘリマン）がトラックに乗り、ニコニコ顔で、カーラジオに合わせて、歌をうたいながらやってきた。彼の名前はレジさん。

この男がなぜこんなにごきげんであるかというと、家業の商売がバブル景気だからである。彼は兄リンゼー（アンガス・サンプソン）といっしょにモーガン・ブラザース社を設立した。

兄弟は粉骨砕身の努力の末、奇跡の新肥料を開発。「この肥料を使えば大きな野菜をゴロゴロつくれる！」つって売り出したら、大評判でウハウハ。巨大ジャガイモ農場を経営するチャーリー・ウィックからも注文が入って笑いが止まらない。この近辺の農家でモーガン兄弟を知らないヤツはモグリだね。といわれるほどになった。

レジさんはずっとラジオといっしょに歌をうたっているが、これは彼がオールディーズ好きというだけでなく、もうすぐ自分の会社のコマーシャルが流れるからである。早くそれを聴きたくてたまらない。アップルを設立した頃のスティーヴ・ジョブズもこんな風だったのだろうか。

と、調子よくやってきたのであるが、道の途中で事故車を発見。運転席に死体を見つけてギョギョギョ。ここらへんは農場以外は何もないド田舎であるが、野外コンサート会場への通り道なので、ときおり町のヤツラがブオーンと通り過ぎる。死体の男もそんなヤツラのひとりであろう。ブオーンとスピードを出しすぎて、ドカーンと事故死したのだろう。

死体にでくわしたレジは意外な行動に出る。あたりに誰もいないことを確かめると、そそくさと死体を自分のトラックの荷台に運び込むではないか。あとから明かされるんだが、彼が兄と開発した肥料てのは、人間の死体を材料に使うんですね。だから彼にとって人間の死体はお宝てわけです。

死体を積んで再びドライブをしていったら、こんどは、3人組のヒッチハイカーに出会う。知らない人をトラックに乗せて死体を見られたらたいへんだから、いったんはアバヨと走り去ったが、なぜか、気を変えて乗せてやることにした。3人のうちのひとりがカワイコちゃんだったからである。

このあたりからわかるように、レジという男はお人好しでちょっと頭が足りない。こんな男がなぜ商売を成功し得たのかといえば、それはパートナーの兄がヤリ手だからである。兄リンゼーはトロい弟の首根っこをふんづかまえ、パシパシぶん殴って、いうことを聞かせて、どうにか商売を軌道に乗せたのであった。こんなこわいお兄さんが弟のやってることを見たら怒るだろうなあ。

レジが乗せた3人組は、例によって、町からきたヤツラであった。カワイコちゃんのソフィさん（アンナ・マクガハン）は気だてのよい娘さんであるが、貞操観念があまりないという特性を持つ。ジェイムズさん（オリヴァー・アックランド）はそんな彼女に一途に惚れているまじめ男。彼のポケットにはプロポーズの指輪が入っている。今回の旅行で一発キメてやるぜと大決意でやってきた。そして、ウェズリーさんはふたりの親友のお調子者。彼はいろんな国を旅した経験があるそうな。

3人はレジのトラックに乗せてもらって、ずんずん進んでいく。んで、死体を発見してウギャー！とおったまげる間もなく、レジの農場に連れていかれる。

そこにはこわいお兄さんのリンゼーが待ってて、トロい弟からなにがあったのかを聞き出すと「おまえはほんとにトロくてかなわん！」と怒りを爆発させるのであります。3人はまとめて肥料にされちゃうんでしょうか。

モーガン・ブラザーズのおきらくテーマソングのキメ台詞↓

That's Morgan Brothers' Garantee!

イエーイ！

トレイラー動画

100 Bloody Acres (2012) trailer

感想

これ、おもしろーい。ちょっと変わった路線のお笑いホラーでした。ゴアゴアは適度にあります。

人間の死体から肥料をつくるっていうくらいだから、カボチャ怪物とか巨大ポテトなんかが出てきてグログロギョエー！なんてバカ路線を想像していたんだが、ソレ系ではなかった。また、雰囲気からして、『タッカーとデイル』を思い出す人が多いと思うが、あれともちがう。

なにかこう、言葉で説明するのがむずかしいが、妙なズレ加減があって、独特のお笑いセンスがあります。オーストラリアの70年代オールディーズがジャンジャカ鳴ってて、おきらくムードで進行する。珍しい動物を水槽に入れて観察しているようなかんじ。

小ネタが多いです。モーガン兄弟のトラックの荷台のイラストはボブなんとかっていう人が描いたんだが、その人物の由来が、トランクの中に閉じ込められたふたりの男の会話で明かされるんだが、それが最後のオチにチョロッとつながっている。あと、会話のあちこちで出てくるSalvo Sixとか。John Butlerとか。いろいろと楽しいネタが仕込んであった。

私、こういう、遊び心があるっていうんですか、こんな脚本が好きなんですね。だからよかったですね。ま、見るひとによっては、そこが「うだうだやってるなあ」という感想になるんだろうけれども、私はこういうの好き。

だってさ、ブッ殺すシーンでモーガンブラザーズのテーマソングがジャンジャカ鳴ってるなんて、おもしろいじゃん。あの曲、いいわー。

DVDのオマケ

私はiTunes USで観ましたが、DVDは10月1日に発売予定だそうです。私、買います↓

• amazon.com - 100 Bloody Acres [DVD]

Memorable Quotes

Wes: You can take the country girl outta the country, but you can't take the country boy out of the country girl's cunt.

Soph: Come on. The product is organic.
Wes: They use mostly organs, so, uh, yeah.

Soph: I'd never move back here.
Reg: Hey? You from Yandoit?
Soph: Oh, no, not from here, but, you know, from the country.
Reg: Oh, I thought you were one of them city slack... slickers.
Soph: I am. Sort of. Dad shipped me off to boarding school when I was 13 and I never came back.
Oh, you'd love it out here, then. There's always something going on.
Soph: Right.
Reg: Uh, you got Dazlers in town if you need a feed. Uh, we got Fairlyland, state's best kept secret. Oh, but you'll miss that, they're only open third Sunday of the month. What else we got?
Soph: Your own local mystery.
Reg: Eh?
Soph: That Salvo Six thing. Oh, that was... really...
Reg: And then there's Penny Weight Hill.
Soph: really sad.
Reg: You and your boyfriends should go check that out.
Soph: Boyfriends?
Reg: Oh, sorry, that just slipped out. I didn't mean to...
Soph: Are you on to me?
Reg: Nah, nah, nah, no, I don't know nothing about anything.
Soph: Look. I'm no angel, Reg, but I reckon, on the whole, I've been a pretty good girlfriend.
Reg: Yeah, of course you have.
Soph: You know what it's like, right? Sometimes in the heat of the moment, you do stupid things. And every now and then I reckon you just gotta say to hell with the consequences. We're only flesh and blood. And bone.
Reg: Hah, that's funny.

Wes: Itchy nuts?
James: Oh, no, it's nothing.
Wes: Did I ever tell you about that fat German backpacker I caught crabs off in Ibiza, man? Had to shave my balls and everything. Last time I lower my standards, mate.
James: Sorry, what, your standards?
Wes: Hey, you may not think it, buddy, but I've done a bit of growing up since I saw you guys last.
James: Right.
Wes: Serious, man. Seeing the world, it changes you. Like, it's not all about pussy. It's about meeting new people, sharing ideas.
James: You're a real citizen of the world with your shaved balls.

James: Gonna pop the question tonight when John Butler's on. Eh, she loves the guy. Don't ask me why.
Wes: That's about the gayest thing I've ever heard.

Charlie Wick: I gotta start plantin' today. I got ten blokes sittin' around here scratchin' their balls.

Lindsay: Shit and derision.

Lindsay: You little ripper!

Reg: We'll fertilize ya!

Soph: Please, Reg, please let us go. I swear we'll look after you. We'll make sure you don't get into any trouble.
Reg: No, I can't.
Soph: I know you're not a bad person. You're a good person who's just done some bad things.

Soph: Kiss me... Untie me, Reg. What's wrong?
Reg: No. No, no, no, no, no. I know what kinda girl you are. I seen your type on TV. Pris Hilton and all them other... You're all the bloody same.
Soph: No.
Reg: All you want is sex and drugs and good time! It's not right!
Soph: No, I'm not like that. I want to get closer to you. I thoguht that we had a connection.
Reg: Nah, nah. A real lady doesn't want to thingo every bloke she meets. A real lady doesn't flirt with strangers. A real lady wouldn't be doin' two blokes at the same time!
Soph: No, that's not true!
Reg: You told me yourself! Oh, it's three blokes now. Jeez!
Soph: Please, Reg! I thogut us country folk were supposed to look out for each other.
Reg: Nah, you ain't country. You're a city slut!

That's Morgan Brothers' Garantee!

Soph: You've always made such a good case for why things should be your way. But has it ever occurred to you that maybe I don't want the same things as you? Short term goals and your five-year plans. What the fuck! I'm over it! The house inspection and the winery tours and the office barbies with your project manager mates and their stupid, boring girlfriends! Talking about interest rates and Clarkie's batting averate and listening to John Butler because it makes you feel like you're doing something for the environment? Well, I cannot fucking stand John fucking Butler!

Wes: He wants my potassium!

James: You fucking slut!
Reg: Hey, don't you talk to her like that!
James: I'll talk to this whore any way I like!

James: How many times?
Soph: What?
James: You and Wes, how many times did you fuck?
Soph: For God's sake, let it go.
James: Somewhere between five and ten?
Soph: James, what difference does it make?
James: It makes a heap of difference! There's a sliding scale of infidelity here. And there's an inverse scale of forgiveableness.
Soph: So, if I said it was only once, that would make you feel better?
James: Probably.
Soph: It was only once, okay?
James: You're lying.
Soph: Fucking hell, it happened! What else do you need to know?
James: I need dates, numbers. I need to know if you were sober or drunk. Who made the first move. Where it happened. What you were wearing. Fingerings, had jobs, blow jobs. I need to know the full magnitude of your betrayal! If I'm gonna.... you know, move forward.

Nancy: You look absolutely buggered, pardon my French.

Reg: Can you see? Right now it's not about what we did do or didn't do. But what we do do. 'Cause sometimes what you have to do is... gee, I don't know why I keep saying 'do' but, well, what I mean is... you can't undo what you done, but you can do... aww! gaah! I'm not real good at these big speeches, but you know what I mean, right?
James: Hey, yeah, let's gather round and listen to the psycho!
Soph: Reg ain't a psycho! All right?
Reg: Hey, we gotta get your mate into town or he's gonna end up with a Bob Clay special. Are you all right to drive?
Soph: Yeah. But what are you gonna do?
Reg: I'm gonna march right in these and get them keys off Linds. And if he don't want to give 'em to me, I'm just gonna bloody make him.
Wes: Hey, what about my hand, man?
Reg: Aw, shut up about your bloody hand for one bloody minute! Look after your mate, eh? It's time for me to... do it.
James: Fuck is with that guy?

Wes: I'm waiting for the chopper, man. They gonna put me back together. It's a beautiful clean slice. Look.

Lindsay: Been some afternoon, huh, Reggie? I know it hasn't turned out especially good for anyone, but, uh, these are the risks you take when you run a small business.
Reg: Why, Lindsay? It's all over. We can't get away with this.
Lindsay: Think I don't know that? Think I can't tell that we're rooted? Now the thing is... I am a man of my word. And when I promise Charlie Wick a ton of premium grade new blend, well... I'm gonna deliver on that promise. That's a Morgan Brothers' guarantee.
Reg: All I ever wanted from you was a bit of recognition.
Lindsay: So if your soil's off the boil, you get nothin' for your toil. Our blood and bone will fix you up a treat.
Reg: Morgan's Organic will get your garden growing great.
Lindsay: That's a Morgan Brothers' guarantee.
Reg: Yes, it is. A Morgan Brothers' guarantee that is!
Lindsay: Well, well, well. The little missy real sharp shooter.
Soph: Shot a few pigs in me time. Have no problem shooting another. Get away from him.
Lindsay: Oh, Becs has got some competition, has she, Reggie? Now, come on, shit head. Give us the rifle.

Burnie: Well, folks that brings us to the end of another Australia day Aussie music marathon. Hope you've enjoyed the show, because I know I have. And, look forward to seeing you next Saturday at the King George show grounds for the Selvo Six fundraiser. Catch me in the fruit and veg stand around three. It's my pleasure to judge the pumpkin competition being a man of the earth. You know a hands on kind of guy. There's a lot of steak here, though. For all the growers this year. And I know there's some fierce rivalry out there. Hopefully, I'll be able to stay out of harm's way, because the competition will be on, if not, hey, bring a stretcher. But stick around with my good mate, Time Lanyon, who'll take you through to midnight with his golden oldie show. Terrific program, and a really top notch broadcaster. That's our Tim. Say, catch you tomorrow. God bless!

Charlie Wick: Damn Morgan bastards prmised me bags. No one's going to stop me getting me fuckin' bags!

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